When you meet new people, there is always your first impression that can stay with you far into the relationship. Sometimes you have to admit to the person about what you were thinking and how wrong it was to feel that way. Other times, there is something that just doesn’t feel right. You can’t put your finger on it, but you will never completely move from that suspicion. In the case of the new desktopper and web designer, I knew immediately that I was going to enjoy working with them both.
I didn’t think they really knew each other well since one was local and the other was from the West Coast. To say they were close to polar opposites was the best way to describe it. The desktopper was shorter, older, and could put you to ease with a smile and a light laugh. Webs was freaky from head to toe but put off a strong feminine air of confidence that was intoxicating. Both sat watching me hand over the VCR tape and my paperwork. I gave both a smile and nod when standing there became awkward.
“Here’s your new team,” HR said, trying to sound excited. “Derrick, this is Kay Lusse and Wren Stulda.” They both had very professional handshakes. “Wren will be here all week and Kay will be moving with you upstairs.”
“Oh, okay,” I said, not knowing all the details. “Where exactly?”
“You know the landing before the top floor?”
“The one with the closet?”
“That’s it,” HR said with a big grin. “Should be perfect for the four of you.” “Four?”
“Oh, I forgot to mention. We are hiring someone to help you.”
I was very happy to hear that. “I did not know that was happening.”
“There are three interviews set up for later today. So check out the space upstairs and let me know what you think.”
We gathered up our belongings and headed up to the new space. Currently there were four desks there that had been empty for a while. I opened the closet, and it was mostly available, which would be perfect to store lots of stuff and coats. “This could work,” I said, closing the sliding wooden door.
Wren sat on the top of a desk while Kay leaned on the wall. “How long have you worked here?” Kay asked.
I had to think about that before answering. It seemed that all three of us had enough experience at our current positions, which was good to know. “I have to admit, this new job is going to be a stretch for me. I’ve been around computers pretty much my whole life, but this is different. It’s good to know they will be getting someone to help. In the beginning, there will be a lot of setup work.”
“Did they tell you anything about our last boss?” Wren asked, getting comfortable.
“I know he wasn’t going to make the merge. Anything I should know?” I asked, hoping for any insight that might help me do a better job.
“It’s not really necessary, is it Wren?” Kay asked, crossing her arms. “No point really.”
“They’re not going to tell him.” Wren said, pointing down the steps. “It’s pretty sad anyway.”
“Sad?” Kay huffed. “He took care of us, and that absolute creep.”
“That’s true, that guy got what he deserved.” Wren looked at me. “Do you own any firearms?”
I laughed. “No, should I?”
“No high-powered handguns with scopes? You sure?” Wren shook her fist at me.
“How do you feel about prairie dogs?” Kay asked, sitting on a chair.
“I think they’re kinda cute, right? Wait, maybe I’m thinking of those other ones. What are those skinny little ones that stand up and look around all the time?”
“The one from the movie?” Kay asked, crossing her legs. “The cartoon one?”
“Yes, what are they called?”
“Those are meerkats.” Wren said flatly. “Prairie dogs, not meerkats.”
“Prairie dogs are like gophers, right?” I asked, trying not to look more stupid.
“No.” Kay said, looking at Wren. “Is he serious?”
“Are you serious?” Wren asked.
“I know they all live in holes and pop up.” I smiled and shrugged.
“So do snakes,” Kay added.
“Okay, let’s start over,” Wren demanded. “What do you like to do on your vacations?”
“Hang out with my sister and kids, play videos games, sleep, maybe catch up on my writing.” I sat on a desk across from them. “I don’t know. I really don’t get out much.”
Kay snickered. “I would not have guessed from your porcelain skin. I think Wren might have you beat.”
Wren did some crazy thing with her lips, making them crooked momentarily, then stuck out her tongue. I had not noticed before that she had a tongue ring.
“You two are pretty chummy. I didn’t think you were around each other much.” I said to get their attention and hopefully the point to their questions.
“That’s recent. They let me take care of some personal business back home. Since I am good at what I do, I can work anywhere.” Wren looked at Kay, who nodded. “Do they let people work remotely around here?”
“We don’t even have computers with a mouse, not to mention voice mail is sorely lacking.” I tapped on the desk. “But that will all change now.”
“No laptops?” Kay asked.
“Nope.”
“What size monitors?” Wren asked.
“Right now they are monochrome dumb terminals. You get orange or green. I think they are about this big,” I held up my hands to show the rough size. “Again, they are all scheduled to be replaced.”
“Why in the world would they want to merge with this company?” Kay asked.
“How many clients do you manage?” Wren asked.
“Around twenty.”
Wren looked at Kay, and they both scoffed. “That’s why.” Kay concluded.
“Did you have more than that at your place?” I wondered.
“Four that are worth mentioning. The rest are dying on the vine.” Kay shook her head.
“Why would Ms. Cedar agree to sell the company then? Something doesn’t sound right.” I looked around like the answer was somewhere in the room.
“Well, how much do you think it’ll cost to upgrade your infrastructure here?” Kay asked.
“Oh, I know. Three hundred thousand to start. That’s just for all new hardware and software. The cost for consultants and customization is not included. My position should reduce the costs once I learn everything.” I sighed. “We needed to merge to afford it, right?”
“Sounds right.” Wren concluded.
“On our end, we are losing most of our staff. That’s what they a call a win-win situation.” Kay stood up. She started looking through the desk drawers. “Which one do you want, Derrick?”
“I’ll take the one in the back,” I said, pointing to the desk farthest from the steps. “Are you going to tell me the end of your original story?” I wanted them to get back to that story.
“Fine. There was this guy, a son of the big boss’ friend. You know how that goes. Kid needs a job, so daddy starts asking around instead of the little one doing his own search.” Kay sat down at another desk. “Big boss pressures our boss to find something for him to do.”
“It wouldn’t have been too bad if the brat could do something.” Wren said, crossing her arms.
“He had all the skills we didn’t need, and all the ones we did, he didn’t have.” Kay continued.
“So instead of saying it wasn’t a fit, they made a position. He was supposed to train with our boss and then eventually become our new boss. We knew right away he was shady. Something about his beady little eyes gave him away.” Wren said, squinting and looking around.
“Our boss knew it too. He actually told them all the stuff he was doing, and they told him to hold out and give it more time. For three months, he watched this new guy go from bad to worse.” Kay wheeled her chair closer. “It was definitely not a good time for any of us.”
“The good thing was the new guy was given enough rope that he eventually hung himself. Once everyone saw it, there was only one thing to do—the ultimatum.” Wren smiled widely.
“What happened?” I asked, waiting to hear the end.
“The new guy was asked to think about his place in the company while he went on vacation to kill prairie dogs with high-powered scoped handguns.” Kay said, rolling her eyes. She waited for me to signal her to continue, which I did several times. “We never saw him again,” she whispered, leaning close.
“Wasn’t the story supposed to be all about your boss, not some other guy?” I asked, wanting more.
“It is. Our boss was under a black cloud from that point on.” Wren said. “You could tell they were just looking for anything that they could use to get rid of him.”
“He was a good guy then?” I asked, and they both nodded. “So he’s getting left behind because he did the right thing?”
“To the wrong guy,” Kay added.
“Wow. I had no idea.” I rubbed my chin and looked at the ceiling. “I was hoping to talk to HR about being your boss.” I looked at Kay. “Should I let them find us all a new boss or throw my hat in the ring?”
“Do you like office politics?”
I laughed. “People should be able to do their job without all that mess clogging up the works.”
“Sounds like we would work great together,” Wren admitted.
“But you will not be well liked outside of our group.” Kay shook her head slowly. “Unless you plan to wear two faces.”
“Fake it ’til you make it,” I said, smiling like I was mad. “I will need your help to take off the mask when it’s just us. Smiling and being politically correct is not my strong suit. Actually, I can’t stand people who beat around the bush. No one ever gets helped when you’re so afraid you might hurt someone’s feelings. It should always be personal, not business.”
“An idealist,” Wren said, stopping my rant.
“Work life will knock it out of him,” Kay concluded. “It’s a good place to start. A good soaking in reality will loosen him up.”
“Have you ever been a boss before?” Wren asked.
“No.” I shrugged.
“Good, we’ll tell you how to do it.” She winked.
“You both would be okay if I managed us?” They nodded. “I’ll talk to HR to see if that’s an option. Do you stay in touch with your old boss?”
“Sure, every once in a while.” Kay started drumming her fingers on the desk. “Do we need to start looking at your setup for desktop?”
“Oh, I guess so. Will they be bringing over your computer?” I asked, wanting to know the plan.
“That should happen this week, I guess.” Kay shrugged. They both looked at each other not sure of when. “The good thing is we won’t have to clear out this place first.” Wren and Kay stood up and checked out the desks one final time.
“Since I won’t be here long, I’ll take the other desk in the back, if you don’t mind.” Wren patted the desk she wanted.
“Where are the network jacks?” Kay asked, concerned.
“None of that has been run yet. We are at the beginning of the plan.” I bounced on my toes.
“How are we supposed to get out to the Web then?” Wren asked, putting her hands on her hips.
“A minor detail, I’m sure.” I tried to sound confident. “We’ll work it out.”
“As our boss, you had better,” Kay said, standing toe-to-toe with me, looking up.
Wren got close and frowned at me. “No connection, no work.” Her hair was very attractive, jet black with red or magenta in the front. “Hey, daydreamer. Did you hear me?”
“How did you do that with your hair?” I asked.
“It’s called chunking.” Wren stepped back. “Are you checking me out?”
“Here we go,” Kay said, leaning against the wall.
“I think your hair is cool, yes.” I pursed my lips. “Is that okay?”
Wren stepped close and tugged on my beard. “I don’t do beards.”
“Are you serious?” I huffed. “Give it a chance. New job, new look.”
“You and I need to go out for a drink to discuss boundaries, don’t we?” Wren kept nodding until I nodded too. “I want to make sure you realize how deep into the friend zone you are. There is no chance of getting out. Ever.” She waved her fingers slowly in my face. “Never, ever.”
“Why do you always have to do this?” Kay demanded.
“It’s better in the long run,” she said, never breaking eye contact with me.
“Do you realize how awkward I feel standing this close to you?” I asked quietly.
“Man up,” she mouthed. After a few seconds, she backed away and started laughing, holding her hand over her mouth. Pointing at me, she stomped her foot. “Even his ears are red.”
I could feel the heat radiating from my face. Never before had I felt so helpless. She had complete control over me. “You are a freak,” I laughed.
“With a heart of gold,” Kay added. “No one will ever compare, trust me.”
“They broke the mold, my friend.” Wren pretended to break something and throw it over her shoulder. “Can we get back to work?”
I rubbed my eyes and shook my head. “There is no way I’m going to survive this.” I motioned for them to head downstairs. We stopped at my desk and showed them our current setup.
“No e-mail?” Kay asked after I gave them the rundown on our operation.
“No e-mail, no voice mail, no desktops, no laptops, no color monitors, no Internet, and yet we get it all done. Imagine what life will be like when all that changes.” I mimed like my head was blowing up. “Stay and you’ll see.”
“I’ll be back home with all that by the end of the week,” Wren said, patting Kay on the back. “Have fun living in the past.”
“Let’s go talk to HR about your concerns. Maybe I can help get something out of this, being your boss,” I said, pushing them in the right direction.
HR was in her office and encouraged us to come in and have a seat. We outlined the problems with them needing things that were not going to be available right away. By the end of our discussion, it was determined it would be smart for me to manage them since I knew the situation best and had the skills needed to help. Another small bump in my compensation was promised for the additional responsibility. Overall, it was a great day, and I was happy when it was over.
“Hey, boss, let’s go get a drink,” Wren said when it was time to go home. The rest of the week was filled with me spending every available moment with Kay and Wren at work and with Wren after.