There are times when you are talking with someone and a new person enters the area. At that point, you can choose to ignore the fact there is another human being nearby while you blather on. One could halt the current conversation to include the new individual. Sometimes you are so happy because you feel the need to break free from an extremely boring one- sided conversation. Rarely, however, does the new person walk up in hopes of dispersing the original pair in order to pick a fight with them both. An etiquette book somewhere must have a chapter on how rude that behavior is and surely strongly discourages it.
“Where have you been all week?” Alison demanded. She looked at Wren and frowned. “Is this your sister?”
Wren put out her hand and put it down again when no formal handshake was offered in return. “I’m the new web designer.”
“Alison, this is Wren,” I said casually. I had hoped she had read the memo about Kay and Wren, but it seemed like that must have been one that was missed. “Wren is getting ready to go back home tonight, and we were just catching up on a few things.”
“You haven’t forgotten dinner, right?” She poked me hard in a soft spot on the chest near my shoulder. “I’m going to get my bag, and then we can catch a cab.” After she left, I rubbed the still throbbing area while looking at Wren.
“Office romance? Really?” Wren then poked me in the exact spot on the other side. “Haven’t I taught you anything this week?”
I looked really stupid crossing my arms holding both spots, so I added a loud sigh. “She’s usually not”—I started to say something about being crazy, then continued—“so aggressive.”
“Does she see me as competition?” Wren asked and I shrugged. “I take it you aren’t a natural around the ladies.”
“You’ve seen me in action. I am not smooth. One thing I am is honest. I really do like Alison.” I put my hands in my pockets.
“You had better do more than like that girl. You do realize she’s full on mental.” Wren stepped back when my expression changed abruptly. “I don’t want to whisper stuff in your ear to mess with your head, but tell me she’s easy to get along with. I can see she’s hot, but is there more?”
“Listen, we’re at the beginning of something. Don’t go rushing me into something that might not be there.” I grabbed my bag and put it on my shoulder.
“By all means, take your time.” Wren motioned for me to pass.
“Hey,” I said calmly. “This is all new to me. You’ve been a great friend this week, and I don’t want any bad feelings before you go. This is all personal stuff, and I want to be all grown-up about it, so maybe this should be off limits between us—since I’m your boss and all.”
“That’s fine, I get it. You’ll still tell me everything else though, right?”
I nodded. “I will.” Wren gave me a big hug, and I walked down to see if Alison was ready.
Alison was at her desk, legs crossed, talking on the phone. She held up a finger and then pointed to a chair. I couldn’t tell if it was a personal or work call; however, she was definitely much more calm. I tried to spin around in the chair, but it wasn’t cooperating, and I could see that behavior was bringing back her temper. Finally, I sat still and tried to read all the papers left out on Nell’s desk.
Jimmy came into the room and went to his desk. “What’s going on?”
“I’m waiting to get out of here.” I said, still reading.
“You waiting for Nell?” he asked, leaning on the desk trying to tell what I was doing.
“No.” I looked up at him and smiled. “Nell already left.” “Okay,” he said slowly.
Jimmy had become that type of person who always needed to know your business. The funny thing about that was he would never remember what you told him. There were some topics he would always come back to for more information to seem like he was genuinely interested in your life. “You catching any sports this weekend?”
“Not really a sports kind of guy,” I said, picking up random items just to see how he would react. “How about you?” I knew he was waiting to be asked.
“Right, I’m doing some running this weekend. I might even go out on my bike if it’s not too cold.” He smiled like he was imagining what he was talking about.
“That’s just great,” I said, standing up.
“You ready to head out?”
He grabbed his coat and moved to the doorway. “You going down now?” he asked like I was his only friend in the world.
I shook my head slowly and waved. “No, you go ahead.” I acted like I was going to throw him a football. “Go long, buddy.” He grinned and pretended to catch it as he disappeared downstairs.
“It’s not really nice that you do that,” Alison said, putting on her coat.
“I have meaningful interactions with him when I work on his projects. Soon I’ll be showing him how to double- click on icons, and the world will really open up for him.” I closed the distance between us and gave her a little hug. “You doing okay?”
“Do you realize how much pressure I feel?” she looked up at me sadly.
“Work real busy for you?” I took her bag and added it to my shoulder.
“I’m talking about you meeting my family.” She adjusted her glasses. “Work is fine.”
“I promise I won’t embarrass you too much. Is your mom hot like you?” As soon as I said it, I wish I had not. For some reason, I was talking to Alison like I had all week with Wren.
Much of the cab ride was in silence, with Alison looking out the window. I tried to hold her hand a few times, but she finally crossed her arms, and I knew I had to stop.
“I am sorry,” I said when the quiet had lasted for a few minutes.
She turned and looked at me but didn’t say a word. Her hand slowly reached out to me, and I held it gently but firmly. “Why do you like me?” she said as her voice trembled.
I felt like I was back in elementary school, talking to some girl on the playground. This was actually happening, and my first impulse was to do or say something funny. Being friends wasn’t enough, and yet I wasn’t sure if this relationship could be anything more.
“You’re beautiful. That was what first attracted me the first day I saw you. Since then, though, I’ve grown to really appreciate spending time with you. You make me want to be a better person. Shall I go on?” I tried to raise one eyebrow, but I’m sure it looked stupid.
“Why must it be more?” she said, pulling back her hand.
“Can we go back to what we had with you knowing how I really feel?”
She looked out the window again.
“Tell me you aren’t even the least bit attracted to me, and I’ll slink back into the shadows again.”
She turned again and looked at me. “I guess I must have been completely oblivious. Naive, definitely.”
“Are you kidding me? Are you going to tell me that holding someone’s arm while they walk is what friends do? Touching, poking, and getting real close? Is that normally what you do? Ever do all that with Jimmy?” I was trying to remain calm.
“Jimmy? No.” She made a face of sheer disgust that I was very happy to see.
“Why not?” I tried the raising eyebrow thing again, and this time I believe I nailed it.
“Because I’m his boss.” She acted shocked that I didn’t know that.
“Oh, so you and Ike have shared a touching moment where you twirl your hair and rub his arm while laughing?”
She wrinkled her nose and frowned.
“I didn’t think so. Then why is it okay to do all that with me?”
“Because you make me feel safe. I can be myself around you.” She shuffled in her seat. “You want me to say that I like you.”
“I just want to make sure you’re not going around doing all this stuff with everyone else,” I said, trying to look mean. “Come on, is there no attraction?”
She looked out the window and began crying. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“Lose me?” I touched her shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere. What makes you think that?”
“I really don’t want to go into it all in the cab,” she said quietly, turning and holding my hand.
“You know we don’t have to rush into anything. I’m just hoping to be able to see you more often, you know, get to know each other better. Can’t really do all that at work.” I smiled and touched her face. “No pressure from me.”
“How is that any different then what we’re doing now?” She wiped away her tears.
“To you it might be the same, but to me, it lets me know that you feel the same way. Maybe I feel more comfortable being able to label it.” I shrugged. “How are you going to introduce me to your parents? Friend from work? Boyfriend?”
She laughed. “Do you want me to call you my boyfriend?”
I thought her question was very odd. “Do you feel comfortable doing that?”
“How about we wait until after you meet my family?” She smiled awkwardly.
“So just a dude from work then? As long as I’m not the ‘computer guy,’ or worse yet, ‘He’s in IT.’ Can you at least make me sound cool?”
She nodded.
“We can work on labels later,” I assured her.
Alison’s mood brightened, and the rest of the ride was spent sitting close. When we got to her parents’ house, she once again became nervous and on edge. “You will behave yourself,” she said right before opening the front door and waited for me to nod in the affirmative. “Good.”
When I was younger, there was a kid in the neighborhood who would often invite some of us in so we could play. It was at that point that I realized that every house has a scent. You can’t smell your own until you go away for like a week with the house all closed up. My sister burns a lot of candles, and that helps to mask her cooking odors. The house I was entering smelled like sweet baked bread, like a bakery.
Alison did a round of introductions, and I guess I was expecting her family to be more ethnic. If I had passed any of them on the street, I would not have thought twice. The grandparents did have accents, but her parents sounded just like me. Stereotypes really can cloud one’s thinking, and it was good to let go of mine.
“It’s really nice to meet all of you,” I said, trying to shake hands and give hugs as appropriate.
When it came time to eat, I stared blankly at the bowl sitting in front of me. Alison noticed and nudged me under the table.
“Everything okay, Derrick?” her mom asked.
“Is this an Iranian dish?” I asked, trying to know what I was about to eat.
“It’s called chili,” she said, passing me a bowl of shredded cheese. “Try it with this.” I sprinkled a bunch and tried it. Not only was she a good cook, I think she might have been a little cuter than Alison.
“This is really good,” I said, probably a little more enthusiastically than necessary, but I was impressed.
“You’ve never had that before?” her grandmother asked.
“Never. Chili you say?” I kept filling my face. She told me what kind it was, but I didn’t remember it. “I didn’t realize that was a Persian dish.”
Her father laughed. “This recipe is about as American as it gets.”
I put down my utensil and wiped my mouth. “It’s pretty obvious by now that I have little to no knowledge about America, let alone Iran.” I put my hands up. “You got me.”
Alison gave me a death stare while trying to keep a smile. My hands went back onto my lap. “Sorry.”
“I’m just glad to see Alison is dating again,” her grandfather said to her grandmother. “Thought she might have given all that up.”
“She’s not dating him,” her mother said. “You just work together, right?”
I smiled and watched Alison squirm. “Just a boy that’s a friend,” I interjected to let her off the hook. “But you never know,” I said, winking at the grandfather.
He raised his glass and said something I could not understand, but it seemed to be a toast. We all raised our glasses and bumped them all gently. The remainder of dinner was spent talking about work and what I did, so the pressure was off Alison. When we were done, I was invited by her grandfather to see his collection of things from Iran. Apparently, I made a big impression since he rarely talked about it, let alone showed off the pieces.
“I was in the Imperial Guard,” her grandfather said, taking me into a room filled with items hanging on the wall. There were fancy uniforms and a bunch of weapons on display. “I might be one of the last Immortals,” he said like I did well in history class.
“Very impressive,” I said, getting close to the items but not daring to touch anything.
“It all still works.” He patted me on the back. “I’ve put on a few pounds, so the clothes are too tight.” He rubbed his belly. “Allie’s dad got us and all this out safely at the last minute.”
“That’s good to know,” I said, not really knowing what to say. “Thank you for showing me.”
We joined the rest of the group in the living room, and I could tell Alison was happy to see me interacting with her family. Her grandmother handed me a big bowl of ice cream, and we all sat down. “Wow, this is good.” I nodded and kept shoveling in more.
“Now that’s Persian,” Alison said, grabbing my arm to slow down.
“I have to say that I look forward to getting to know all of you,” I added right before my brain froze.