“Are you sure you want to do that?” my sister asked as I untied my shoes. “It’s not the sort of thing that people do.”
“What, friends going to visit friends?” I stood up and took off my socks and sat down to rub my feet. “I’ve had some time to think about it, and I’m certain there’s no problem.”
She looked at her watch. “Like less than an hour, right?”
I really can’t stand it when others don’t see things from my point of view. “Have you ever gone to meet a friend?”
“A girl, yes.” She stood over me as I was trying to relax for a nap.
“Same here. Wren is a girl.” I stared at her. “Do you have any other objections, or can I close my eyes now?”
“What did Alison say?”
I sat up.
“She doesn’t like the idea, does she?”
I stood up and started up the stairs. “We are having relationship problems right now.”
“Because of the trip?” She stood at the bottom of the steps with her hands on her hips.
“Maybe it was the fact I was so excited about it in front of the whole company and didn’t even think about using it to go somewhere with her,” I managed to say before almost running out of breath.
“Everyone knows you want to go see Wren?”
“Yep.”
“Don’t you see that’s a problem?”
“Nope.”
My sister turned away and sat on the couch. “One of these days, you are going to figure out how life works.”
I came down the stairs, ready for a fight. “Maybe one of these days, people will be okay with friends hanging out with friends. My girlfriend is now less friendly than every other person in my life. The relationship is about dead. Do you know how that makes me feel? In the back of my head, I keep telling myself to run while I’ve got the chance. My heart tells me wait on her hand and foot. Protect her. Love her. Never leave her side.”
“Except to go see some other girl clear across the country.” My sister smiled, and I felt my blood boil.
“Show her, don’t tell her, right?”
“Wow, did you realize that all by yourself?”
I growled. “No. She told me that herself.”
“So what are you going to do?”
I flopped down next to her. “I’m going to call Wren and find out if it’s even okay for me to come during the week between Christmas and the New Year.”
“Wait, you announced your plans that aren’t even plans yet?”
I hung my head. “I get excitable sometimes.”
“So you might call her and find out she doesn’t even want you to come? She might even think it’s the creepiest thing someone has ever imagined.”
I frowned, and she rubbed my head.
“There’s so much work to be done with you.”
“I’m going upstairs to call her.” I stood up like lead weights were holding me back. “I want this.” I pulled out my phone and hustled up the steps. I stretched out on the bed and dialed Wren’s number.
“Hello,” she answered. “What’s going on, boss man?”
“I won a trip at the party.”
“Nice. Where to?”
“It’s an open-ended hotel voucher, and work will pay for the airfare.”
“That’s incredible. You coming to visit?”
“Actually, that’s why I was calling.”
“When were you thinking?”
“I’m taking vacation between Christmas and the New Year. Does that work for you?”
“Not spending anytime with your family during the holidays?”
I was so worked up about Alison that I forgot that I would be leaving my sister and kids alone too. “Am I a horrible person?”
“Yes, but you didn’t answer my question. Are you okay to leave them? I know how you like spending time with them.”
“I will just celebrate everything early with them. There’s still a couple of weeks until then. Shouldn’t be a problem.”
“How about your girlfriend?”
“She gave me the ultimatum.”
Wren giggled. “You’ve lost her.”
“You find that funny?”
“Sure do, and you should too. She has absolutely nothing to fear from me. We are just friends. We know that, and she should too.”
“I know. I don’t want to lose her.”
“Well, use the time before you come out here to make her understand.”
“She wants me to show her I love her more than just telling her. What am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t do high maintenance.”
“Is that really the issue?” I asked, rubbing my chin.
“I thought this topic was off limits with me.”
“Right.” I looked out my window. “If I temporarily lifted the restriction, would you be able to help?”
“Yes, but I’m going to tell you the same thing that got me banned in the first place.”
“Okay. Tell me again.”
“She’s crazy, dump her.”
I sighed. “I just can’t get over the feeling that I need to protect her. I can’t walk away from that.”
“Be her friend first.”
“We did that whole flirt thing for so long. I wanted more.”
“Did she?”
I switched the phone to my other ear. “Things did start going downhill after that.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“The touchy-feely stuff stopped almost completely.”
Wren was quiet for a moment. “I really shouldn’t be talking about this with you.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Hey, you aren’t going to like what I am about to tell you. I don’t want to lose your friendship over another girl.”
I laughed. “Tell me.”
“She’s either not into you, or she’s got some deep-seated intimacy issues.”
“Wow.” I did not want to share Alison’s personal issues, but I think Wren was right. “Thank you for that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m serious. I know what I have to do now. You turned on the light.”
“You still coming to visit?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” she said, and then we spent the next hour discussing the details. It turned out the hotel stay was only two nights, which made for some interesting decisions to be made. In the end, I decided to go see her after Christmas for a few days and be back before New Year’s Eve. I was going to do my best to spend time with friends, family, and girlfriend.
My sister was playing with the kids when I came down from the call. “Did you nap?” she asked as I mingled among the toys.
“I was on the phone the whole time. Wren and I hammered out the specifics for my trip. I’ll only be gone a couple of days and won’t miss Christmas or New Year’s Eve.” I tapped my head. “Smart planning.”
“What are you and Alison going to do this year? What traditions are you going to set?”
“Traditions? I’ll have to get back to you on that one. Saving the relationship comes first.” I riled up the children and then headed out to the porch to make another phone call.
“What’s going on?” Alison answered after several rings.
“Are you still up for the ride through the city with me?”
“Are you still going to visit Wren?”
“Yes, after Christmas for a few days. I’ll be back in time to kiss you on New Year’s Eve.” There was silence on the other end for an awkward amount of time. “We need to talk about our lack of a physical component to our relationship.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” she blasted me.
“Before I said something to you, you were pretty touchy- feely with me. Do you remember that?”
“Do we have to talk about this?”
“You’re the one that freaked out on me tonight. Remember telling me to think about our future? Well, I did.”
“Is that how you remember it?”
I tapped my foot. “Yes. I wanted to tell you something, but now I’m not sure you’re ready to hear it.”
“Did you get this insight all by yourself, or did you need to tell someone our business?”
“I would never tell anyone about this topic.” I was expecting either she would hang up or yell again.
“Talking over the phone about what I think you are referring to is not going to happen.”
“Good. Tomorrow night, we are going to take a carriage ride around the city and then go somewhere to talk through it all.”
“Okay,” she said after another pause. I told her the plan and wished her a good night.
I knew exactly what I needed to do but had to wait until morning to start. In the meantime, I hung out with my sister and the kids. Stacking building blocks often calmed me. Tall towers being toppled over accompanied by silly faces and noises was a winner among the young ones. Life must be so simple when viewed through their eyes, and I yearned for a glimpse of that perspective.
“A dozen or just one?” I asked the lady at the flower stand.
“What did you do?” she asked, still working on other arrangements.
“I was hoping to show her I love her.”
“Oh, then one. Most people need at least a dozen or two to make up for poor behavior.”
I am sure that more than one was needed; however, I went with one in hopes of not overwhelming her. After paying, I walked to the agreed-upon spot and sat down on a bench. Since I was early, I looked around the park at all the horses. Some of them looked very powerful and stood calmly, waiting for the next ride. My hope was to have a relaxing time and then patch everything up while sipping a warm beverage.
In the distance, I could see Alison approaching. I stood and closed the distance with the rose behind my back. Holding it out, I smiled and held out my arm. She took the rose and smelled it. A small grin appeared on her face as we walked arm in arm to the carriage I thought had the best combination of power and grace. I helped her in then got in after she slid over.
An hour-long ride was pricey but was definitely worth it as we had a chance to see a bunch of very nice sights all lit up for the holidays. When it was all over, we walked to a quaint coffee shop with few patrons. Sitting in a booth away from the door and others was perfect for a private conversation.
“That’s was nice,” she said, sipping some complicated coffee order.
“It went real quick. I’m happy the weather is cooperating tonight too.”
“Cold but not windy.” She blew on her drink and took another mouthful.
“Do you and your family have any Christmas or New Year’s Eve traditions?” I sat back and watched her.
“We usually get together on Christmas Eve to exchange gifts and then sit around the next day, watching sports. New Year’s Eve is watching shows on television until the ball drops and then sleeping in late.” She reached her hand across the table. I held it and smiled. “What are you going to do this year?”
“Can I join in on some of that?”
She looked confused. “With my family?”
“Well, with you too, right?”
“What about your family?”
“I see them every day. I’ll open presents with the kids at some point, but that’s about it. I’m pretty flexible.” I pulled my hand back and grabbed my soda. I was planning on hot chocolate but backed out at the last moment. “You can meet my sister if you want.”
“You sure about all this?”
I wanted to show her that spending time with her doing what she normally did was okay with me. “Whatever you feel comfortable doing is fine with me. I thought I hit it off nicely with your family, right?”
“My grandfather loves you,” she laughed. “He wants to know when you’re coming so he can show off his collection again.”
“What about the rest of them?”
“What?” she said after finishing her drink.
“How about your parents?”
“I guess they’re okay with you.”
“You mean you all didn’t talk about me after I left? That’s how it’s supposed to work.”
“Well, I still get pressure from my mom to date someone more like…” She trailed off and looked down.
“Hey,” I said, touching her chin gently. “One step at a time, okay?”
She looked at me. “You don’t get it.”
“Then help me understand.”
“I feel like I’m stuck in the middle. This whole year I’ve done nothing but listen to her griping about my choices.”
“Including me?”
“Especially you.”
I nodded slowly. “Okay. What do you want?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Is that why you’ve become distant?”
Her shifting told me everything. “I had no idea I was coming on so strongly since I met you. When you mentioned it, it made me uncomfortable. You are the first person I’ve been so close to since…” She trailed off again.
“I get it. Did you mention it to your mother too?”
She nodded. “She thinks you shouldn’t pressure me physically.”
I pursed my lips and leaned back. “Do I do that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay, let’s agree now that won’t be an issue moving forward.”
“What does that mean?”
“I thought the affection level was set too low recently, but it can be dialed down if that will help.”
She grabbed my hand. “You’re willing to do anything I say, aren’t you?”
“I told you I can picture us growing old together, holding hands.” I put my other hand on hers. “Make sure you let everyone know I’m in this for the long haul.”
“I will, but it’s still not going to be easy.” We spent a lot more time talking through our issues, and it was obvious that I had an uphill battle to prove I was the right one for Alison. It would be real easy to walk away and blame her past and mother for everything. There would be some comfort in pushing all the responsibility to others and see no room in me for improvement.
In the end, we decided not to spend time together during the holidays, which gave me no chance to interact with her family.
My trip to see Wren was wonderful as we traveled up the coast. She knew some awesome spots to go hiking and see wildlife up close and personal. The hotel was pretty nice, and I would not have been able to afford it on my own. It should be fun for the teams at work that travel to go to these kinds of places. However, they often just complain that they are away from home. I wouldn’t mind a few more trips like this if it were offered.
When I returned home, the whole place seemed more decorated and lit up. The kids didn’t seem to miss me, but there’s no telling for sure. They definitely liked ripping the paper off the additional presents I bought them while away.
I called Alison and left a happy-New-Year message, which I had hoped to say in person. She never called me back. Guess I’ll see her at work.